Never Been Kissed

[1999]

Starring:
Drew Barrymore
Micheal Vartan
David Arquette
Jessica Alba
Leelee Sobieski
Molly Shannon

average rating: ★★
~
performance: ★★
screenplay: ★
plot/storyline: ★
cinematography: ★★
~
Romantic Comedy

Why did this so loved movie get two stars from us? Perhaps it is the fact that Drew Barrymore has a seriously deformed face that Mother and I find hard to admire, yes, even to look at. Perhaps it is the fact that Micheal Vartan's hair curled much too far down the back of his neck. Perhaps it is the fact that John C. Reilly looks like pig. But I think I will set all of these vain, shallow reasons aside to allow for something more interesting, something more substantial. After all, there are many a movie in which we ignore deformities and haircuts, Jane Eyre (2006) for instance.

No, it was something else that spurred me to take the remote and speed through half the movie. I think that something was because the movie was, um, boring. Predictable. Same old. Simpering. Lame. Generally what defines a O.M.G. movie.

Runaway Bride

[1999]

Starring:
Julia Roberts
Richard Gere
Joan Cusack

average rating: ★★
~
performance: ★★
screenplay: ★★
plot/storyline: ★
cinematography: ★★
~
Romantic Comedy

So. I'm not even going to elaborate much on this movie. It was from 1999, so what can we really expect, but it was terrible anyway.

ever after

Ever After

Starring:
Drew Barrymore
Angelica Houston
Dougray Scott

average rating: ✩✩¼

performance: ✩✩
screenplay: ✩✩
plot/storyline: ✩✩
director: ✩✩

Well, as you can probably see, we didn't think too highly of this movie. Mom picked it up at the library as a last resort source of entertainment, and that's exactly what it turned out to be. Drew Barrymore and some guy named Dougray Something-Or-Another did quite a terrible performance; Drew simpering an idealistic Cinderella named Danielle with a terribly fake British accent, and Mr. Dougray stomping around as an angsty Prince Charming Prince of France. Why France?

The screenplay had few very entertaining lines, the rest a muddle of over adjectified babble. A good addition to the Cinderella story, however, was that one of the stepsisters was not evil. The younger of the two was instead a ever-hungry girl who was obviously not the brightest, and she was definitely entertaining. Otherwise there was the weird appearance of Leonardo Da Vinci (a little old man with a funny white cap), the stupid evil stepmother who is mostly evil but sometimes not?

And that's that.

[courtesty of pixelpalace.com for the poster]