Never Been Kissed

[1999]

Starring:
Drew Barrymore
Micheal Vartan
David Arquette
Jessica Alba
Leelee Sobieski
Molly Shannon

average rating: ★★
~
performance: ★★
screenplay: ★
plot/storyline: ★
cinematography: ★★
~
Romantic Comedy

Why did this so loved movie get two stars from us? Perhaps it is the fact that Drew Barrymore has a seriously deformed face that Mother and I find hard to admire, yes, even to look at. Perhaps it is the fact that Micheal Vartan's hair curled much too far down the back of his neck. Perhaps it is the fact that John C. Reilly looks like pig. But I think I will set all of these vain, shallow reasons aside to allow for something more interesting, something more substantial. After all, there are many a movie in which we ignore deformities and haircuts, Jane Eyre (2006) for instance.

No, it was something else that spurred me to take the remote and speed through half the movie. I think that something was because the movie was, um, boring. Predictable. Same old. Simpering. Lame. Generally what defines a O.M.G. movie.

Runaway Bride

[1999]

Starring:
Julia Roberts
Richard Gere
Joan Cusack

average rating: ★★
~
performance: ★★
screenplay: ★★
plot/storyline: ★
cinematography: ★★
~
Romantic Comedy

So. I'm not even going to elaborate much on this movie. It was from 1999, so what can we really expect, but it was terrible anyway.

13 Going On 30

[2004]

Starring:
Jennifer Garner
Mark Ruffalo

average rating: ★★★★
~
performance: ★★★★★
screenplay: ★★★★
plot/storyline: ★★★★
cinematography: ★★★★
~
Comedy

We honestly thought that this movie was going to be horrible. The title "13 Going On 30" is not very promising for our type of movie. But we were wrong. "13" happens to be a really cute movie.

Jennifer Garner was absolutely adorable (as always). Her character is Jenna, a 13-year-old girl who wants nothing more than to fit in with the popular crowd. At her 13th birthday, her best friend Mattie gives her a model of her dream home and dusts it with a powder that is supposed to make dreams come true. After a few misadventures, Jenna knocks the dust onto herself and wakes up 30, all her dreams come true.

With an awesome performance by Jennifer Garner, Jenna discovers how she's lived her life since being 13, how she became editor of her favorite childhood magazine, how she never spoke her best friend Mattie (Ruffalo) anymore, how everyone thought she was a jerk. There are some really funny bits that just scream 13-years-old at you and some cute, real scenes.

I think one reason I liked the movie was because it wasn't really about love, and it wasn't really about fitting in, and it wasn't really about friendship, though those things were combined, the movie was really about making choices. And, of course, being careful what you wish for.

It was a funny, enjoyable watch, all in all, with some really great songs from the 80's. Lol, I'm kind of kidding... Liz Phair, Billy Joel, Lillix, Rick Springfield... If you want some serious songs stuck in your head...

Notting Hill

Starring:
Hugh Grant
Julia Roberts

average rating: ★★★
~
performance: ★★★
screenplay: ★★★★
plot/storyline: ★★
cinematography: ★★★
~
Romantic Comedy

Notting Hill was actually much funnier than we thought it was going to be. I'd heard of it once, but that had been before I knew who on earth Hugh Grant was, and had thought it was just a silly romance.

Hugh Grant was hilarious, giving his stereotypical Hugh Grant performance (stuttering, thinking of ridiculous things to say, getting himself into ridiculous positions). His character was only slightly different from the characters in, say, Love Actually, or Music and Lyrics. He played a divorced British chap named William who lived in a flat with an insane Welshman and owned a travel-book store. I loved his character. But Julia Roberts wasn't so good. Her character was lame, as a matter of fact, and didn't deserve Hugh's character at all. She played a stereotypical movie star named Anna Scott who doesn't enjoy fame, who has a fling with a Brit while shooting some movie near Notting Hill (the village William lives in). Goo to you. Her mouth is too big, anyway.

The screenplay was hilarious, with lots of little lines that you might miss the first time. William's flatmate was equal parts funny and disgusting, while his family was 3 dimensional and cute. But the story was lame, honestly, the whole "movie star falls in love with regular chap" crap was really flat. If there had been an interesting spin on it, it might have been cool. But nope.

However, if you're a person with a good sense of humor and keen ears who is looking for a good laugh, watch it.

Sweet Home Alabama

[2002]

Starring:
Reese Witherspoon
Josh Lucas
Patrick Dempsey-Wempsey

average rating: ★★★★
~
performance: ★★★★
screenplay: ★★★★
plot/storyline: ★★★★
cinematography: ★★★★
~
Romance

Sweet Home Alabama is a rather sweet movie, really. Lol, excuse the pun (if that counts for a pun...). Reese Witherspoon (who is so cute) plays a woman named Melanie Smooter who grew up in Hick-Town before moving away to NY to start a new life. Melanie changes her last name to Carmicheal, starts a fashion business, and tries to forget that she ever had connections with the fashionless, dirty, thick-accented losers from Alabama.

When her gushily perfect NY boyfriend (Dempsey-Wempsey) proposes to her, she is forced to take a trip back to Alabama to force her husband/ex-husband, Jake Perry, (Lucas) to sign the divorce papers that he's been blatantly refusing for seven years. Well, you can guess how it goes. She reacquaints herself with the simple ways of the south.

The acting is pretty good, the story is sweet, and the southern accents are hilarious.

P.S. If you are wondering to what tone I use the term "Dempsey-Wempsey," it is strong sarcasm and contempt... i think he's nasty!

Send Me No Flowers

[1964]

Starring:
Rock Hudson
Doris Day
Tony Randall

average rating: ★★★★
~
performance: ★★★★
screenplay: ★★★★
plot/storyline: ★★★★
cinematography: ★★★★
~
Comedy

While You Were Sleeping

[1995]

Starring:
Sandra Bullock
Bill Pullman
Peter Gallagher
Peter Boyle
Jack Warden
Glynis Johns

average rating: ★★★★★
~
performance: ★★★★
screenplay: ★★★★★
plot/storyline: ★★★★★
cinematography: ★★★★
~
Comedy

heartBREAKeRS

[2001]

Starring:
Sigourney Weaver
Jennifer Love-Hewitt
Jason Lee
Gene Hackman
Ray Liotta

average rating: ★★★★
~
performance: ★★★★
screenplay: ★★★★★
plot/storyline: ★★★★
cinematography: ★★★★
~
Comedy

Shakespeare In Love

[1998]

Starring:
Joseph Fiennes
Gwyneth Paltrow
Geoffrey Rush
Colin Firth

average rating: ★
~
performance: ★
screenplay: ★
plot/storyline: ★
cinematography: ★
~
Shakespearian Comedy from the Land of the Mentally Lame

Okay, I would like to start out with a big fat "WHAT THE HECK?" in the general direction of Judi Dench, Colin Firth, Tom Wilkonson & Imelda Stauton. Four of my favorite British actors, agreeing to act in this disaster of a comedy. Oh and let's throw Geoffrey Rush in the list too, because he was lovely in Pirates.

While on iTunes the other day (after watching Shakespeare), I chanced upon the cover of the movie in the rentals section, so I clicked on it, to see if other viewers disliked it as much as I. Um, I was wrong. The average rating was 4 and a half stars and there were over 200 reviews, most of which proclaiming that this was one of the most charming movies, la de da. If I had seen these reviews before watching the movie I'm sure I would have fell for them and been sorely disappointed, but instead I was just dumbstruck.

Shakespeare In Love was supposed to be funny. It was supposed to be cute. It was supposed to be slightly interesting. Nada. The story was about Shakespeare (Fiennes) who was trying to write a new play but had writer's block of sorts. So then he meets this Lady Viola or something (Paltrow) who is the most American of America's girls playing this British woman. They fall in love at first sight (oh joy) and he begins to randomly write Romeo and Juliet with the help of friends. But being a lowerclass playwright, he isn't allowed to be with poor Viola. But they meet again when Viola dresses as a boy (mustache and all) to try out for the part of Romeo in his play.

Most of the movie was play practice with Viola in a fake mustache/goatee deal, Shakespeare and Viola sleeping together and necking and all sorts of yumminess irrelevant to plottage or humor, and Shakespeare and Viola quoting Shakespeare. Very funny, huh? Other than that there was the lame villian of Colin Firth who was to marry Viola, Imelda Stauton as Viola's lame maid, Judi Dench as the lame (but frankly quite terrifying - but what's new?) Queen of England, and Ben Affleck as a lame self-centered actor in the play. Oh, and there was Tom Wilkonson as the lame man who paid for the plays, Geoffrey Rush as lame the theater-owner.

In fact, we never reached the end of the movie, it was so boring. It was plotless, only about five lines were laughable, and there really didn't seem like there was an end in sight, and if there was, it certainly wasn't promising.

Fin.

[poster courtesy of impawards.com]

My Man Godfrey

[1936]

Starring:
William Powell
Carole Lombard
Gail Patrick

average rating: ★★★★★
~
performance: ★★★★★
screenplay: ★★★★★
plot/storyline: ★★★★★
cinematography: ★★★★
~
Screwball Comedy Romance

This movie was very entertaining. The plot was twisty-turny funny, the conversations were funny, the performances were good, the characters were funny - everything was funny!

The story generally made fun of the upperclass people, and so the main characters were an utterly insane upperclass family, the Bullocks. So, while indulging themselves as upperclass families do, the two Bullock sisters are on a race to collect things in a scavenger hunt going on at the Grand Hotel, or something. Their goal is to a find a "lost man," so naturally, where better to find a lost man than in the dumps?! They meet a hobo named Godfrey, who pushes the older sister Cornelia into a pile of ashes. And then a few moments later, warms to the younger sister and goes with her to the party to see how the upperclass play.

On a whim, Irene invites this scrubby homeless man to be their butler (asking him bluntly "can you buttle?"). And then Godfrey is introduced to the intense family, starting with the loud, oblivious Mrs. Bullock, to the loud but sane Mr. Bullock, to the cold, spoiled Cornelia and then to the scatterbrained, infatuated Irene. Infatuated with him. Godfrey, however, doesn't believe that they should have a relationship, considering the difference in their class... unless of course, there really is a difference...

It's really all quite the laugh.

How To Marry A Millionaire

[Twentieth Century Fox, 1953]

Starring:
Marilyn Monroe
Betty Grable
Lauren Bacall
William Powell
Rory Calhoun

average rating: ★★★
~
performance: ★★★
screenplay: ★★
plot/storyline: ★★★
cinematography: ★★
~
Marilyn Monroe!

Personally, I don't recall watching many, if any, Marilyn Monroe movies, so I was curious to see her in this film. To my surprise, Marilyn's performance is fun and endearing. She's pretty young, 28 years old, and already seems to have a good sense of comedy timing. In this film, Marilyn doesn't seem to have the starring role, but is supporting Betty and Lauren. Even still, Caroline and I enjoyed her performance.

This film is about three women (models) who have decided to intentionally seek and snag millionaires for husbands. Lauren's character was the ring-leader, instructing the other girls on the proper way to attract millionaire men, and above all, stay away from "gas jockeys."

Marilyn and Betty's characters were meant to be rather simple and silly. Marilyn's character, Pola, wore glasses and was "blind as a bat" without them. Since she considered wearing glasses as a horrible, unattractive thing, she always took them off around other people. So, Pola bumped into walls and doors, etc., it was pretty funny.

The movie had a predictable, funny ending that tied in with the beginning and middle, which was surprising, considering other films we've watched from the same era.

ever after

Ever After

Starring:
Drew Barrymore
Angelica Houston
Dougray Scott

average rating: ✩✩¼

performance: ✩✩
screenplay: ✩✩
plot/storyline: ✩✩
director: ✩✩

Well, as you can probably see, we didn't think too highly of this movie. Mom picked it up at the library as a last resort source of entertainment, and that's exactly what it turned out to be. Drew Barrymore and some guy named Dougray Something-Or-Another did quite a terrible performance; Drew simpering an idealistic Cinderella named Danielle with a terribly fake British accent, and Mr. Dougray stomping around as an angsty Prince Charming Prince of France. Why France?

The screenplay had few very entertaining lines, the rest a muddle of over adjectified babble. A good addition to the Cinderella story, however, was that one of the stepsisters was not evil. The younger of the two was instead a ever-hungry girl who was obviously not the brightest, and she was definitely entertaining. Otherwise there was the weird appearance of Leonardo Da Vinci (a little old man with a funny white cap), the stupid evil stepmother who is mostly evil but sometimes not?

And that's that.

[courtesty of pixelpalace.com for the poster]